Tips for making the "Speeches"

The most grueling moments of wedding receptions are often the speeches & toasts, especially if everyone from your great-aunt to young nephew wants to get a word in. For most people, delivering a good speech or toasts isn't easy -- and it only compounds the discomfort for everybody when it drags on.

To prepare a speech that will be remembered for the right reasons, start with these public speaking tips:

Be Brief. A long speech may bore your audience, and though being too abrupt may appear to be rude, the best advice when in doubt about the length is to be brief.

Plan your speech. Some may think that once you have your champagne in hand all you have to do is walk up to the microphone, take a deep breath, and speak your heart out. But this isn't enough. Before the wedding, sit down and plan what you're going to say.

Don't read from cue cards. Write the speech out and keep the notes with you if you feel more comfortable with them, but try to memorize as much of the speech as possible. Maintain Eye contact. Don't look down. Instead, look at members of the audience.

Practice. With speeches as with everything else, practise makes perfect. Time yourself so that your speech is not too long. Rehearse in front of a mirror.

Tell stories, but don't be too elusive. Though you may have the urge to talk about the good old days, you don't want to leave the audience wondering what you're talking about. This is not only annoying, but also rude. When speaking about the bride or groom, choose a topic everyone can identify with, perhaps an interest or a hobby, work ethics, character traits, or even how you remember that person prior to the engagement.

Use Humour. You can never go wrong with humour as long as it is kept in good taste.

Speak from the heart. Audiences can sense if you are sincere and this will win them over.

Speak loudly. Don't let your voice dwindle to a whisper. Speak loud enough so the people in the very back of the room can hear you.

Watch your hands. Don't put your hands in your pockets or wave them about. Do use your hands to gesture and illustrate points.

Who should make a speech

Formal speeches are usually made by both sets of parents, by the grandparents, the maid of honour, and best man. Bridesmaids, ushers and a special family friend or godparent may also be invited to speak.

After the formal speeches are made, some couples like to open the floor to the bride's family, followed by the groom's family and finally friends and distant family members. The bride and groom should be the last to speak.

Estimate how much time you would like allotted to speeches. Approach the people you would like to make a speech several weeks before the wedding so they have time to prepare. Give each person a suggested time limit.

To help save on time, many couples have the speeches begin just after dinner is served. By the time your guests have finished eating, the speeches will have concluded -- and you'll be ready to head to the dance floor.